by Daniela A. Mera
If you are here, reading this article, chances are you love what many people affectionately call romantasy.
And if you are the kind of person who brings books to social events, chances are you’ve had someone tell you that reading is just an escape for real life. Some will tell you it is rude to pay more attention to your book than them in the same instant they whip out a cellphone to check the internet. Some might feel like visiting magical worlds is something to be looked down on; something unrelatable or weird.
But loving fantasy romance isn’t weird at all, it speaks to a need for fulfilling, powerful relationships to fill your life with. We are beggars and it helps us to fill our empty cups as we look for love, resolution to conflict, and self-acceptance.
Shameful and incorrect ideas loving romantasy stories were rained down upon me quite liberally as a teen. I experienced some very traumatic events when I was sixteen, and found my solace in fairytale retelling. I have made it a side quest in my adult life to reach across time to that poor teenager and help her feel validated in her choices.
So, let’s dive in, shall we?
Fiction provides us with mirrors with which to see ourselves. Some tales hold up the looking glass and allow us to examine our lives. Seeing a bad relationship or family situation can force us to admit problems.
Fiction also builds windows for us to look into another person’s life. A person who’s culture, sexuality, social standing, *insert any social structure here* is nothing like our own helps us to expand our minds.
The first time anyone ever validated me for reading, it was in a college theatre class. (Leave it to the theatre kids, amiright?) We were reading an essay written by Orson Scott Card—author of Ender’s Game—when he talked about how people felt that people who read fiction were emotionally stunted children running from their problems.
Card vehemently illustrated how he despised people called reading escapism. When we read, we are allowing ourselves to take a journey alongside our own. That journey helps us in real life.
I found that hanging out with artist people taught me to appreciate the ways we cope with our lives.
When I became a preschool teacher, I took classes on teaching reading. One teacher aptly cited several articles that showed students who grew up with significant trauma had a better chance of dealing with and healing from trauma if they could read.
With reading being more and more successful with ebooks and audiobooks, these opportunities extend to adults.
In a time where there is a lot of shame from “being lazy” if you look at your phone to being “weird” if your social life doesn’t look like others, give yourself permission to stop listening to the opinions of others who don’t matter.
Let’s recap. Some of the biggest gifts fiction can give us are…
- Greater empathy for experiences we haven’t had.
- Tools for dealing with our own problems.
- Inspiration to find the beauty in our lives.
What if that high-stakes, save-the-world medieval fantasy can give you the courage you need to accomplish your goals for the day?
What is the hero/heroine that speaks about their feelings in such a powerful way that it strikes a cord in your soul and reminds you aren’t alone?
Be happy, friends. Go read about some badass witches and friendly dragons.
About Daniela A. Mera
Daniela A. Mera is an educator by day and writer by night. Her life has revolved around creating new worlds since infancy, when her mother used to turn down the lights and read from fantastical books til she could hardly keep her eyes open. She lives between Nevada, USA and Hidalgo, Mexico, living out her own fantastical dreams one day at a time. Visit her at www.danielaamera.com.